Hello, Beautiful Sharon,

Have you ever been judged, criticized, or made to feel small, whether it was intentional or unintentional?

Science shows that our nervous system responds strongly to criticism.

The brain pays extra attention to what feels negative or threatening, which is why one critical comment can stay with us longer than many kind ones.

This negativity bias once helped humans stay alert to danger, but today it can cause us to replay hurtful words long after the moment has passed.

Even small interactions can raise stress hormones and leave us unsettled longer than we’d like.

A friend I helped bring in groceries for chided me for taking too many bags in at once, then shared what she felt was helpful advice about slowing down, no matter how rushed we might feel.

But for me, it didn’t feel precarious or irresponsible to carry more bags than she was comfortable with. At first, I felt defensive, but I took a deep breath and let her share. I understand her physical activity level is lower, so her advice made sense from her perspective.

People usually offer wisdom that fits their experience, biases, fears, comfort level, history, viewpoints, philosophy, beliefs, and mental states, whether or not it fits you is for you to decide.

A while back, a YouTube creator in a group I run gushed appreciation over some of my analytics, I felt so boosted by her perspective. That same day, my brother asked about my subscriber count and laughed at the number.

So I made a choice: to strengthen my confidence, I focused on the encouraging voice. Then I went within and did an inventory of all the successes and positives that have unfolded along the way.

Research shows that one of the best things we can do is notice what we are feeling without immediately reacting.

Naming it, taking a slower breath, and reminding ourselves, this is their perspective, not my truth, helps calm the brain and keeps us from handing over our peace.

We get to decide where we place our attention, but unless it’s a natural reaction, it takes conscious choice to adopt a perspective that blesses our life, encourages us forward, and helps us feel good about ourselves.

The good news is our brains and bodies can settle again.

Some of my favorite methods - self hypnosis to return to calm, and hypnosis meditations, to shift reactive patterns of taking others’ moods, judgments, or opinions personally.

The more you return to your own calm inner center, the easier it becomes to hear the wiser voice within, and give attention to the perspective that supports, steadies, guides, and uplifts you.